Revolving Doors

Tonight it's life... or something like it.

Strange, it's so much easier to hide what your really thinking between the words of a story. Putting them right out there for people to see, now that's a bitch. My blog has gotten more hits since my last two post were about my thoughts. No idea why but any way here is another...

'A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts.' Dr Manhattan (Watchmen the Graphic Novel). 


A line that sets me thinking. What about that novel doesn't though? But any way... there is no discernible difference between alive and dead besides the obvious... you cease to be. So what is it that makes the difference? What is it that separates us the living from them the dead? For me the answer has always been energy. Simple as that. One day the energy that powers you and helps to make you who you are is needed some place else. The universe recycles, it is a thrifty mutha fecker with the motto of 'waste not want not'. Atoms, all of it, reused. Broken down and put to use building some thing new.

So what of our energy? This is where I step away from science. I think life energy is unique in that it has and always will be life energy. It starts out raw and unrefined and through the process of life its used and reused and in this fashion is polished and shined. Until one day it reaches a state of perfection and is no longer called back into use.

Come July 9th, some time twenty seven years ago, maybe exactly maybe years before then, a man died. I believe this man to have been a good person who lived an honest life and who worked hard at being kind and caring. I have my theories as to just who and what this man was and where he lived. I have learnt to not share so much of this over time though. But I know this, that mans energy is now my own.

I do not believe that man was the first to use the energy that now powers me. I believe many an man, woman and animal, good and bad, has no doubt had use of it. To them all I owe thanks for its refinement but its only the man previous to me that I remember in any detail. He is with me in all that I do. Some times I feel the burden of all those that have come before me and all those that will come after. I am only a candle burning till my wick runs low and the flame I carry is passed on to the next.

It is to honour the man before me that I try to live an honest and decent life just as I believe he would have wanted but I also do this to lay a solid foundation for the being that comes next. I have carried my predecessor with me through my years and at every turn he has offered me guidance and answers to questions I couldn't possibly hold the answers for. I hope to some day do the same for my successor. I think this is the point of life to some extent. 
Life is bigger then the moment, bigger then just us, we are but pieces of the puzzle. We are merely one stage in the grander scheme of things. We have a responsibility to enjoy life and make life a pleasant experience for all those around us. I know I screw up a lot of the time. I fuck up some thing awful some times but I am never going to stop. I am never going to give up trying to be a better man. It is the only thing I will ever have some control over.